Lately, every time I speak to my mom she brings up the Mayan Apocalypse.
“It’s on December 21st.” she tells me. Mom seems way too enthusiastic about an event that, if it comes to fruition, will mean the end of mankind as we know it. I tell her, “I don’t understand why you’re so fixated on this event.” She giggles, “It’ll be fun.”
“It’s on December 21st.” she tells me. Mom seems way too enthusiastic about an event that, if it comes to fruition, will mean the end of mankind as we know it. I tell her, “I don’t understand why you’re so fixated on this event.” She giggles, “It’ll be fun.”
Fun? Granted Mom is getting up there in age but at 82 she still drives, takes care of Dad who’s only 75 but not anywhere near as healthy, and is excitedly planning for the arrival of a new Havanese Terrier puppy.
“What is it about the apocalypse that you find so exciting?”
Everyone’s going to float up into the air.” She mumbles something about the earth’s gravitational pull releasing. “We’re all going to just float away. Won’t that be nice?”
Not especially.
“So you’re telling me that everything is going to float away. Rocks?”
“Yep.”
“Cars? Buses? Mini-vans?”
“Most Likely”
“Squirrels?”
“They’ll go first of course. Very light.”
“Trees?”
“No they’re rooted in the ground.”
“So you could conceivably hang onto a tree and NOT float away?”
“Well, I’m not a scientist but yes, you could.”
“Are you a Mayan?”
“No Dear, I’m French Canadian.”
Now THIS is getting interesting.
I ask. “What about all the people inside big office buildings? What will happen to them.”
“I’d imagine they’d just float up to the ceiling and hang out there for a while.”
“How long is a while?” I ask.
“You’ll have to ask the experts about that.”
I imagine office workers floating aimlessly above their cubicles while feverishly texting “OMG! :(” Men’s ties get caught in the air conditioning vents while women’s skirts fly up around their necks. Will they frustratingly push them down or say, “What the hell!” and just remove them. Maybe office romances will blossom in the climate of impending doom with lovers declaring, “Let’s do it one last time!” as they open a window and fly into the sky, locked in an everlasting connubial embrace.
HMMM.
I ask Mom. “So what are you doing to get ready for this exciting event?”
“Well, I’m finishing my taxes for sure.” My mother has always been obsessed with taxes.
“Do you think the IRS will be working during the apocalypse? It doesn’t seem likely too me?”
“They’re always working Dear. They have contingency plans for EVERYTHING.”
“Even if they’re floating and the world is ending?
“Yes, even that.”
“OMG! :)”
I think your mom is right! Apocalypse or not, it is important to file your taxes on time. For one, by filing late tax returns, you might incur substantial penalties and interest and you will be suspected as someone not willing to comply with the rules. By filing earlier or on time, you can save you from the hassles of having to deal with such things. :-) [Joel Walter]
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